How to submit a comment or a story on the Community Forum.

Community Forum Guidelines

Helpful Homecare Info
Jun 8, 2017

Planning for the end: Respect your loved one's request


Edited: Jul 18, 2017

Ira W Yellen is founder and managing director of the Aging In Place Essential Toolkit™. His lifetime related to family caregiving responsibilities has provided him a wealth of information and ideas that has led to the creation of this product. This is his story.

We will die and will also be a caregiver in our lifetime, but healthcare our system is a confusing maze for many family caregivers that leaves the responsibility in making life and death decisions a stressful experience.

At same time, I was in the middle of building The Aging In Place Essential Toolkit, an online service to help families who are looking for caregiving support. Recently, I was co-chairing a patient care initiative at a large urban hospital. Hospitals to home care agencies have been clients for over 30 years. It did not matter. I thought I knew the health and home industry. It was a frustrating experience, is putting it mildly. No family should have to go through a system that is not family-centric based. These very stressful moments create the rawest of human emotions. It is like a different kind of battle zone that millions of families face everyday.

It does not matter the wealth, connections, and knowledge one may have managing a loved-one's constant daily living attention and decisions. For the most part, the clinical care our medical professionals provide us is appreciated, and at times life saving, but once it is needed, millions of families become part of an unpredictable and incomprehensible system of care, especially post acute care at home or with an unexpected health situation.

Once a loved one leaves a hospital or a rehab facility is when important decisions have to be made about their assisted daily living needs. Many times, this is where the health care system fails our families.

My caregiving experience along with interviewing hundreds of family caregivers and their stories is why I have created this online toolkit. Major issues include:

  • Where does a family look to for help?

  • Are they equipped to provide sustained daily caregiving?

  • And what does that take?

These questions and many more have to be dealt with in caring for a loved one.Contact us with your caregiving situation or by visiting one of sections that corresponds to your experience.

Thank you.


New Posts
  • Helpful Homecare Info
    Apr 17, 2018

    Former First Lady, Barbara Bush’s decision to choose “comfort care”, also known as palliative care and hospice, over medical treatment at this stage in her illness brings awareness to patient-centered choice, pain-free options, and quality of life during one’s final months or days. We applaud Mrs. Bush for making a decision that enables her to rest in comfort and in the good hands of a trained care team enabling her to live life on her terms with family at her side in the comfort of her own home. This news comes as we celebrate National Healthcare Decisions Day, April 16, 2018 and kick off of NHDD Week, an annual event aimed to help people in Connecticut and across the country understand the value of advance healthcare planning. What happens in Washington, D.C. is important, but more so is what happens in our own living rooms and around our kitchen tables. The Connecticut Association for Healthcare at Home and our member home health and hospice agencies encourages you to have “the difficult conversation” with your loved ones about your wishes for end-of life. Sixty percent of people believe don’t want their family burdened by their end-of-life care planning, but more than half have not spoken to their loved ones about their preferences, according to a 2012 survey by the California HealthCare Foundation. Advance care planning helps families avoid crisis decision-making and can save families and our nation’s healthcare system from unnecessary, futile and costly end-of-life hospital treatment when a patient is unable to express their wishes. It’s never too early to put your wishes down on paper. The Conversation Project provides free, objective, step-by-step tools to facilitate conversations between family members and physicians. Deborah Hoyt President and CEO CT Association for Healthcare at Home photo: Washington Post P.S. To learn more about comfort care and the impact on f amilies visit this site
  • Helpful Homecare Info
    May 31, 2017

    I was part of a team (stepmom and 3 siblings) that took care of my dad for the last 2 years of his life when he was in his 80s and was living at home. He had mobility issues along with gout and kidney problems. We all had discrete roles as all the kids worked full time. Since I was a lawyer, my role was to make sure all the legal papers regarding long-term care were in order, and that we carried out my Dad’s wishes to be home with the family as much as possible was our paramount goal. It was amazingly gratifying to assist w his transition, that included the day of death. Three lessons learned were: 1. You can't do it all. It will bury you. Build a team. 2. Preparation is key. My dad's legal, medical and financial planning was excellent for years, making execution, while emotional at times, pretty straight forward. 3. Learn to be a forceful advocate for your parent when needed. Don't worry if you piss people off (dr, nurses, billing) in the process Here is some advice for caregivers in similar situations. · Have power of attorney, living will, will and health care proxy in place with one non- spouse as a back up. · Scrutinize the care they receive. · Make sure it is the quality you deserve. · Watch their medication changes like a hawk. · Plan on a fun time with a festive family picnic or outing. Betsy Connecticut

Sign up for the Caregiver E-Newsletter »

The Aging in Place Essential Toolkit™  addresses the challenges that individuals and families face in caring for a loved one or themselves. It is a one-stop resource of practical advice, services, and support that helps people plan for how they will live a good life as they or a loved one age.

Tips for taking care of yourself or a loved one.




  • Facebook - Black Circle
  • Twitter - Black Circle
  • YouTube - Black Circle
  • LinkedIn - Black Circle
  • Pinterest - Black Circle

Call 774-377-5818

© 2019 iNeedHomecareNow, LLC All Rights Reserved
Aging in Place Essential Toolkit is a registered trademark.