Over a period of many years I was the primary caregiver for her mother and twin aunts. I had to manage them with dementia/Alzheimer’s and mobility in a combination of assisted living places and in home care.
My mother was originally able to stay home, but then was situated in two different skilled nursing facility with one of them unresponsive to her needs. My twin aunts both of whom had suffered broken hips and other bones. Mobility was a problem, but they lived out their days in their lovely assisted living apartment. One needed on site caregiving 8 hours a day toward the end of her life.
The best advice I received was from the social workers, not the medical people. Before a loved one cannot make daily living decisions they should clear out all their junk because a family caregiver is going give away or discard or distribute treasured family heirlooms or pictures anyway. Doing it long distance is almost impossible. Fortunately, we had other family members to rely on.
Most old family members think you are still a kid, and do not take kindly to your advice, When the member is mentally alert, there seems to be little you can do. If a family member is very forgetful, have them screened for dementia. My father covered for my mother for years. Only when HE died did we learn the extent of her illness
Get your affairs in order NOW no matter how young you are This includes all contact information for friends doctors and professionals that assist you. Give at least two people your Health Care Power of Attorney. Make sure some else can write checks if you are unable. Purchase a burial site or contact a crematory. Visit a reputable funeral director.
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